Like a man. Find out he was married. But he was separated. Stay with him. Travel around with him. Enjoy life with him. Have little problems with him. Be happy with him. Make love to him. Have a baby with him. Carry his baby for nine months. Labour for hours. First daughter is born. Play with her. Love her with all your heart. Be happy with your family. Have problems because the wife needs annulment. Stay at home with the baby. Let the man drink with his friends. Have problems because your parents do not know about your boyfriend’s status. Get asked when the wedding will be. Be quiet because you can’t get married because he’s still legally married. Endure it for another year. Feel unconfident because you are getting fat. Do stress eating. Be content with life. Crave for food. Feel depressed. Find out your boyfriend is texting someone else. Cry your heart out. Question your life. Question your existence. Question your efforts. Am I not enough? Is my cooking not good? Can I still make you happy? What else do you need? Go against your principles. Swallow your pride and stay with him. Feel more unconfident. Feel fat. Do not do anything about it. Sulk quietly. Feel hurt. Wake up at night because your boyfriend’s phone is ringing. Find another text. Answer the text. Get infuriated. Stay anyway. Accept the apology from your boyfriend. Stay for the sake of your daughter. Stay for the sake of your family.

This is not my story. This is my best friend’s girlfriend’s story. I talked to her the other day and I was fuming mad when she told me her story. I have never tolerated my best friend’s deeds. I knew him since I was in High School. He was one of the reasons why my standards of men are high, because I do not want to be ever involved with men who do not respect women.

Do not trust men. They are all going to hurt you. No relationship is ever worth it. Be strong by myself. Play around. Keep a safe distance. Be happy without depending on anyone. Lonely is good. Sad is bad. Love myself. Trust my instincts. Have fun with friends. Enjoy my own company. Read books. Go party every week. Buy what I want. Be friends with everyone. Be close to a specific person. Fall. Fall fast. Fall deep. Let it all go. Be passionate about loving someone. Hear him say “I love you”. Say it back. Forget your hurt feelings. Finally move on with this man. Hug him. Smile at him. Look at him and only him. Kiss him. Risk my feelings. Risk my heart. Think of moving out. Move out. Live with him. Adjust. Adjust. Adjust. It is all worth it. Celebrate our first year together. Hike with him. Travel with him. Ride a boat with him. Get through life with him. Appreciate him every day. Be thankful every single day. Celebrate two years with him. Get engaged. Receive the ring. Hug him. Kiss him every day. Plan the wedding. Cancel the travels. It is all worth it. Save up. Book the church. Book everything. Invite guests. Do “pamanhikan”. Be excited about it. Be stressed about it. Wedding day comes. Be the bridezilla. Forget about it and be happy. Have fun on the wedding day. It was great. It was lovely. It was perfect. Blur. Blur. Blur. Oh it has been one year. Blur. Blur. Blur. Oh another year together! This is lovely. This is perfect.

That is my love story. It is not perfect for you, but it is for me. I do not want to compare it with anyone else’s but I just had a thought. I would rather be single than be with someone whom I will regret in the future. I would not want my child to grow without a father, but I would rather raise my child if the father had loyalty issues. So I understand those who choose to be single. I salute you for choosing to love yourself. Sacrifices are not easy but it is always better to think about oneself than to rush into things and get caught between strings of problems. I respect those who choose to fight for love, but fight for something worth it and do not lose oneself in the process. Love is love. But you only have one life. But you can have lots of love in a lifetime.


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